Re: Trying to picture the bunny :o)
Submitted by BLues. on November 02 1999 at 05:03:25
In reply to Trying to picture the bunny :o) Submitted by Faith Elliston on November 01 1999 at 16:38:21
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Faith, sometimes you have to take a side. Michaels mother may have only been doing what she thought was best for him, but it wasnt what was best. She tried to split us up before and it was only after Michael wouldnt leave his room for days, after he stayed up crying on the floor all night that SHE called ME and apologized saying that she was wrong to take away the person that brought him so much joy. If there is a secret to life than I would say that its just enjoying what time you have here on earth. Michael was miserable without me. I was miserable without him. There is nothing good that came from our seperation. In fact, its been almost 8 years now and I can still cry uncontrolably just from the memories. Not good. I am a great role model. Honestly, Ive done some pretty great in this short life, and wanted nothing more than what was best for Michael. He loved me and if thats not enough he listened to my instruction when nobody else could reach him. Our time together wasnt just some touchy feely thing for me. Everyday was a lesson to him. A chance for me to teach. And a chance for him to trust. Nothing good came from this. So, even if she was only trying to do the right thing, and not just be selfish with the wonderful INDIVIDUAL that GOD placed on this earth, she was wrong. There isnt some formula for relationships. They are as unique as people and shouldnt automatically be assumed to be "bad". Im dont blame her for being wrong. Its her ignorance that caused that. Its nobodys fault. But, it sure could have turned out better. For me AND Michael. She used to smoke pot right in front of him! He dabbled in it at age 11. He knew where I stood on that subject and his trust in my views and his wanting me to be proud of him changed that. His mother thought his eyes were blue until I told her otherwise!! So many positive things and not one negative. Not even one. Its just not right to do something that doesnt do anything but hurt. Some kids are in shells, and if we trust and believe that GOD places people like me in their path, then I was meant to bring him out of it. And I did. I only pray that he didnt retreat back into it after it ended. I read in the paper a couple years ago that his father had died in a car accident. He was probably tore up about that! Maybe I was supposed to be there for him through all of that! I'll never know. Unless of course I contact him. But, in this case, Id rather not know. It would break my heart even worse to know for a fact that he thought I left by my own freewill and his mother told him that I said something like I hated him and never wanted to see him again! That would kill me. Anyway, the point Im trying to make is that, even as a mother, you have to see that nothing good came from this. Probably not even a closer relationship with Michael and his mother. In fact, he Im sure was probably more distant than when I first met him. I cant help it that I fell in love with him. AND, he cant help it that he fell in love with me. It just happened. It was true. And benificial to everyone. A mother should be able to recognize when her son is at his happiest. In this case, that was always when he was with me. Happiness is, of course, a good thing. I could never have hurt him in any way. It would have never crossed my mind. The thought just wouldnt have stood a chance. I cried when he cried. Our emotions ran parallel. This is getting personal, but I love you Faith and I trust you so...Michael even wanted to have sex, and I said no. There was just no way I was ever going to risk losing the friend I had found. The friendship was enough. More than enough. It wasnt about sex. Even in an ideal situation, where I knew we were safe, and knew he was okay with it, I wouldnt have let it happen. And all of that was tested time and again. We were always alone, even alone in the house for the night, and he wanted to, so I know the former statment is true. Anyway, sorry to ramble about it to you, but I know that you would listen. I just wanted to tr
y and explain it ALL to ya, just in case (heaven forbid?) you are ever faced with the kind of decision Michaels mother made. Choose happiness. Again, just in case! :o) Love ya, BLues. |