To Val.
Submitted by Bach on November 02 1999 at 15:30:06
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Hi Val. I hope that your research is going well and that you are beginning to see some ways to help your friend. I thought I might take the liberty of responding to a few questions you asked Mark. First of all, I do think you are legitimate. I think it's wonderful the way you are open to helping your friend. Perhaps he is angry with God that he has this difference. I don't know. Do you? Is boylove something that is easier to deal with because of a Christian faith? Most of us have been unhappy to have this difference at one point or another in our lives. And probably several of us have been angry that God allowed us to have this attraction. I don't think that Christian faith makes it easier to be a boylover. It took me a long time to reconcile my faith with my sexual attraction. However, I do get a lot out of my faith and it has helped me in many ways. I don't believe that it is something that will "go away" either. It's part of him. How does he live with it? Would some kind of help make it "go away"? Yes, it would be easier to think that professional treatment could make it go away. Those of us here, however, can attest to the fact that it remains with us throughout our lives. The point to seeing a therapist is not to make it go away, but rather to see how we might live effective, happy lives in spite of this attraction. As well, that is what we do here at CBF. I might add that finding a good therapist and feeling comfortable with him/her is a tricky business. It's scary to go see someone,and with reporting laws in some states, building a relationship of confidence is difficult. My advice: tread carefully. I continue to pray for him and show him that my love is unconditional. What else can I do? Continuing to be his friend is the most important thing. Has he ever explored what his feelings are? Has he ever talked to anyone besides yourself? Has he had an opportunity to talk with peers to see how they are dealing with the struggle? Peace of Christ, Bach |