Re: There's a simple truth in life
Submitted by PPC/KPK on November 23 1999 at 18:47:41
In reply to There's a simple truth in life Submitted by Triple Q on November 17 1999 at 23:00:47
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Hello Triple Q, No one can help someone until they are willing to help themselves. That's true, someone at old gaybasher kids' H.S. before I fell out of there 18 yrs ago, told me this: "May God help those who help themselves." I never forgot those words since. Your own post reflects the problems that you face: I am a old jaded deaf christian gay teenboy-lover with a lot of anger and hatreds for other... being deaf gay with tons of problems with christian churches that do hose me off and making me be angry and being spiteful with them for 10 years since.. I do believe by now they just don't exist. "You see? Your own anger and hatred has caused you to cut yourself off from those who want to help you. they just don't exist. How can you expect or accept help from those who you are angry at or hate? You can't." Why should I expect nor want any help from those at ICHABOD churches (no glory of God - dead chruches) who preached hatreds against gays, and doesn't do much for deaf christians at many churches that have no interpreters for them in their services? I don't want them. The ones that really do exist are the ones who accept gay/deaf christians and love them unconditionally. The way how they should do by real Jesus' ways. Then I'll believe that they are for real. I don't want to get into long story about my bad experiences with stupid churches during 1978-1990, and about white man's history of christianity centuries past about how they demonized deaf people, and persecuted gay and Native American people. Personally, I'm from the school that says that "if you want help, you have to know what it is that you need help for". It's obvious that you're asking for help from people who you yourself believes just don't exist. Not from those people of Ichabod churches (nearing to the end of the time now), I'll settle for either secular help from other people or spiritual help from those Native American people who seem to know better than they do, instead. Actually, I do think if they really want to "help" me simply by trying to turn me into being a straight guy instead of being gay, and perhaps perform some so-called "healing miracles" hoaxes on me and throw away my hearing aids and declare me not to be deaf anymore. Happened to me in 1980's, no joke. I'm not trying to criticize. I just think that you are looking for a quick fix to a very complicated problem. You're right, it's a very complicated problem I do have. Sometime, I just think only God Himself could help me with that. You're not criticizing me. You want help from people who you don't want help from. Right. Actually, I don't know who are right people who I would want to ask for their help from, anymore at all. Except from God Himself. You're angry and hate a people but taking it out on individuals. That's true, and it's my fault. In my opinion, no one can help you but you. Right, too. First, you have to be willing to forget the past. It's over and done with. Each dawning day is a new beginning. If you wake in the morning and only see clouds then the day is going to be rainy. If you wake up in the morning and the sun is shining bright and strong, then you will be able to make something of that day. It's hard for me to forget my very painful past. Unless maybe if there's Rapture that actually did happened right now then it'll be a whole lot easier for me to forget that so completely and can't remember that forever, when I'll be transformed from old physical state to a new spiritual state being so instantously. I am trying to do my best with the latter part what you just said above, right now. Second, you have to be able to forgive those who have injured you in the past. Each new person that injures you is only piling more and more anger and hatred upon you. The load can be heavy (I know) but all it takes to lighten that load is to forgive others their ignorance. No one knows what it's like to be you, any more than anyone knows what it's like to be me. We just have to accept that people can sometimes be cruel even when they have no idea that they are being cruel. I did managed to forgave some a few of them, including one who was a hearing ex-gaybasher kid and now an changed family man and he is my good mechanic friend. He apologized to me for it a few years ago and I granted that to him. But so many... Throughout my lifetime had gotten away with it and never apologized to me for it nor asked for my forgiveness... I do agree with the rest of what you just said above. Third, you have to learn to accept the help that is offered. The final result is always going to be that you are the only one who can help you, but that doesn't mean that others cannot help you to better understand yourself so that you can help you. I agree. Much love and hope for a brighter tomorrow. I hope so. Same for you too. With hugs, KPK |