Re: Overwhelmed
Submitted by Jules on January 12 2000 at 10:36:17
In reply to Overwhelmed Submitted by Von on January 12 2000 at 08:13:06
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Dear Von, I want you to know that I prayed for you just now as I read your post. God knows the situation you are in, and I pray you will know his love more and more. I've also spent many hours looking at the pictures and reading the stories, and at one time I felt the same way as you do: that satan was getting the upper hand and other things in life were not right because of this. But something has changed all that. And part of it was understanding what sin is in a better way. Our basic problem as fallen humans isn't the bad things we do, it's what's wrong deep down that leads to the wrong things. At root, sin is the fact that we are not in a perfect trusting relationship with God or others. So I want to challenge your description of viewing pictures etc. as "seeds of sin". I think it's the other way round. The way you spend time looking at the pictures is a symptom of the other things, like not having any intimate loving relationships. If you don't know how much God accepts you so much that you can accept yourself, then you also find it difficult to be in loving relationships with anyone else. And so your longing for intimacy shows itself in other ways, like boypics and boystories. But that's only a symptom of sin. The real sin is not being in a perfect loving relationship with God and others. If you go to the doctor with the flu, he doesn't just tell you to stop sneezing! In fact, you probably wouldn't get better as quickly if you didn't sneeze - it's a way of getting rid of the disease. So maybe, just maybe, looking at those pictures is like sneezing. For you, at the moment, it's the lesser of evils. Instead of dismissing your love of boys as simply a temptation from satan, you need to recognise that it's coming from your deep longing for relationships, a longing that is part of the way God created us. God created human beings for relationships, but we fail to conduct those relationships properly. That's what sin is. So think of your longing as a good longing, because it comes from God, but one that has been temporarily distorted through not being met normally. The desire itself is good. Whatever practical things are going on in your life, don't think that they're some sort of punishment from God. Take them as challenges to be met with prayer, knowing the total love of God. Whether your problems are solved soon or not so soon, God is still there, directing you, and changing you into a better and better person! I still like the pictures and stories myself, but at least now I understand more about why I do so, and I have the hope that the more real close friends I make, the less I will need the pictures. Hope that helps. Do post more if you think we can help more. With love, Jules |