Where I am
Submitted by Jules on February 09 2000 at 17:52:50
In reply to lonliness Submitted by Jack on February 08 2000 at 18:31:38
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Welcome Jack, I can relate to many of your thoughts, although things are pretty good for me at the moment. I am really blessed to be living in a Christian community, where friends are close. It's okay for me to put an arm around some of my friends here, even though they are too old for me to be 'attracted' to. (Well, most of them anyway...!) I've learnt to do it, and it is somehow therapeutic. It's as though I'm being more open about myself with them, even though not sharing my deepest longing. Sometimes there is the chance to throw in a passing comment as well, things like saying how gorgeous someone else's children are. Friends probably don't think there's anything unsual about that, but I feel good about being able to say it. But my three years here are coming to an end, and it's time to think about the real world again, what job to get, and what church to become part of. I wonder about finding a church that is openly accepting of people of all sexualities, and I know there are such churches around, but it would be quite a bold step to take from the point of view of all my friends and parents who don't know. Whatever happens, I know it will be important for me to keep in contact with certain special friends. I'm not in a position to be in contact with boys in formal church work like Don is (my present church has urged me not to), but I do know one or two families with boys who love and accept me, and I've also found that proper social contact with boys reduces the lustful sexual aspect. This forum does help in itself, although there is always the risk of investing too much emotion in it, and ignoring people I know face to face. Well, friend and brother, do stay in touch here, and God bless. With love, Jules |