Boy love as a means of God's grace??
Submitted by Forgiven on April 08 2000 03:43:54
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Warning - read what this says, not what you suspect or want it to say :-) Something I've noticed in my own relationships with boys. When I was younger (teens, 20s) almost all the boys I related to were the youngest in a family - almost always with older brothers. My speculation is that I was tapping into the pattern of relationship that they were used to and felt safe with in their family context - the big brother / little brother 'paradigm' in that kid's life. As a very isolated only child, I was relating to them on the basis of the best relationship that I ever experienced; it is a matter of great regret to me that those relationships ever became sexualised. I digress; I'm looking at the biblical pattern; it is interesting to note that many of the significant men in the bible are the youngest brothers - such as Jacob, Joseph (almost) and David. It is also interesting to note that the man closest to Jesus in his ministry is John - who is always paired second to James suggesting that he is the younger brother. So? I believe that the pattern of relationship of younger brother / older brother (when it is a good one) is one that provides a special blessing to the younger brother because they learn to relate to a more powerful figure in their lives in a way that is trusting and positive; perhaps they can be said to learn something of the love of God as He comes beside them from the way they have been loved by their older brothers (I'll duck the question of whether that includes sisters - I've no experience to judge that by). Now the controversial bit! Our relationship with boys - invigorated by our love for them more than with most adults - offers the potential for the boy to grow in trust of and relationship with God because we have shown them a little of what that relationship with God can be like; and what we offer is more than what the ordinary adult will offer. WHICH DOESN'T ALLOW US TO SEXUALISE IT!! (By the way....) |
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