close but no cigar...
Submitted by AKA on June 17 2000 17:49:42
In reply to Sex with a boy submitted by ChoirBoy on June 17 2000 11:43:59
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hi boiling the argument down, you apparently feel that kids and adults ALWAYS view the relationship differently.I would submit that that is not always the case, some kids may seek sex, because they enjoy the physical sensation,and looking for a "father figure" is the last thing on there mind.some may understand that there are advantages to having an older legal partner,advantages that would not be present in an age peer relationship. I don't believe that kids always view adults as "authority" figures, but well understand that they know what power adults can hold over them,and are rightly instilled with fear of most adults.children are very good at detecting ones emotional mood,and are very good at the art of manipulation(they have to be in order to survive)... your argument revolves around a kids need for love and acceptance,while discarding the notion that some kid's enter a relationship, only for sex...and aren't looking for any of the emotional baggage you have ascribed. this is a common CA argument, namely that kids don't have sex with adult's because off the pure pleasure of the act ,and are always looking for something else. as to the issue of your friend,,my take would be that even though he hated the abuse that was perpetrated on him, it was less an issue of his foster father loving him, as it was more an issue of the need he felt to survive.he knew he needed those people and would endure what ever they dished out, in order to preserve his life.....which leads me to point number 2..a power differential does not in and of itself imply an abuse of power. in the anecdotal case you cited, an abuse of power definably exited.I would submit though that if you review any study relating to CSA (childhood sexual abuse) you will inevitably find some percentage of the participants that view the experience as positive,the number doesn't matter. what does is the fact that not all kids view the experience as abusive, and I would say that those who do view it that way, WERE indeed abused, and have every right to there feelings.however, a social policy based on the worst experiences of a group, is a piss poor way to pass judgment. the false assumptions that cause your argument to fall are as follows 1)kids never enter the relationship purely for physical pleasure 2) the existence of a power differential, always implies an abuse of power. 3) sex creates some magical bond that is beyond our understanding (I reject this assertion on the grounds that many who have engaged in one night stands, don’t feel cheated in the least by it ). 4) all pedophiles ascribe to the love em and leave em philosophy...I’m in a relationship with a nineteen year old at the moment, and I don’t see it ending any time soon...don’t you think that it might be possible for a pedophile to love a boy well into his adult years ?...I didn’t know Scott, when he was a boy, but I sure wish I had. I’m sorry to point it out, but you have regurgitated several common fallacy's,I’m a pedophile and I’m not perfect, but it is my goal to treat anyone who invites me into their life, with the respect they deserve, and that is all I can do...as I see it. |
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