whenever i read this stuff it makes me feel guilty and scared.

even though im not trying to molest or groom anyone, i do a lot of the same things that these child molesters did. i mean i try to make my yf feel special through various acts of love (gifts, time, etc) and that can be totally seen as grooming. i feel guilty about spending so much time, effort, money on this kid who is not of relation or anything. i know what i do is not normal and the way other people, including/especially my yf in the future, look at it really concerns me.

i mean i love my yf, or think i do, and he knows it...(yea i told him) but then im reminded of a lot of cases where child molesters also "loved" their victims and how when they grew up, they felt so disgusted by it.