He strongly believed that both relationships had been healthy and harmless.

I might be able to believe it was harmless, but healthy? You're talking about a man having sex with a boy, something their bodies weren't designed to do. And you say it was healthy? What health benefit do you see coming out of man/boy sex?

He got out of the home as an adult and the first time he found out that such a thing could be thought of as wrong was when he was arrested for sexing a boy on the outside. To him that was just how life was... what boys did. This kind of neutral reaction came about because he grew up unexposed to a culture that told him what he was doing was bad.

Neutral reaction? The poor kid grows up to think sex between a man and a boy is normal and you call that neutral? I'm sorry, but sex between a man and a boy is not normal, regardless of what he was indoctrinated into believing. Did the story say if the boy on the outside thought it was neutral?

I think to say that someone can be "traumatized, whether they realize it or not" is a bit contradictory.

Maybe trauma is too strong a word. I think if you were traumatized you would know it. However, I think it's quite possible to suffer harm without really knowing it. You may become aware of something being wrong or not quite right in some area of your life or way of thinking, but you may be unaware of where it came from.

I'm sure that, whilst it IS difficult coming to terms with a BL sexuality in our current society, that BL desire of itself is no more traumatic than heterosexuality or any other orientation.

Again. traumatic may not be the right word here. But you seem to be saying that having the desire to sex boys is no more difficult than having the desire to sex women. I disagree. Even without the social stigma, having the desire to sex boys is WAY more difficult than having the desire to sex women. I know because I have both.

Just because someone has sex with a boy doesn't mean his sexual development is somehow negative or unhealthy.

Yes it does. Being sexual with a man in no way helps him on his newly started journey to learn about sex with women. In fact, sexualizing any young person too soon impedes their normal sexual developement. This is true for sex between a boy and man, girl and man, boy and woman, girl and woman, boy and girl, boy and boy, and girl and girl. Of course there is the natural experimantation between young people. I'm talking about serious sexual encounters, with the emphasis on if it's too soon. When young people experiemnt, it's usually age appropriate as to when they engage in it and what they do. When an older person becomes involved, whether it be an adult or just another kid who is further along in their sexual developement, the older person generally will want to do things HE wants. The younger person may not object. He may even think it's fun or exciting to be doing "big boy" stuff. But he probably wasn't ready for it at this stage of his developement.

Really, if it wasn't for God's command to the contrary I think men and boys could quite "positively" engage in sexual activity and why shouldn't they?

This is where we really diverge, Cat. I don't believe men and boys can positively engage in sexual activity regardless of God's command. The best that can be hoped for if it does occur is that the boy isn't harmed. I don't see anything positive coming out of any sexual encounter with a boy. I am not trying to be patronizing or insulting here Cat. But are you sure you're not letting the way you wish for things to be to overshadow the way things are? In my own case, I have often fantasized about having a "positive" sexual encounter with a boy, often while masturbating. It's comforting to think that I can fulfill my heart and body's desire to be sexual with a boy and that he too would be edified by the experience. It certainly would be a masturbation turn off if I imagined that I might be harming the boy in any way. So for a brief time, I imagine he likes it, he wants it, he's getting something positive from it. While this will bring me a few minutes of pleasure, if I do it often enough, there is a danger I can "brainwash" myself into believing it. I have also visited a few of the erotic fiction sites that denote man/boy sex and boy/boy sex. I know I shouldn't go there, but I struggle with that from time to time. As you may or may not know, there are literally hundreds of fictional stories that boylovers have written depicting "positive" sex between two boys or a man and a boy. The stories are written the way the boylover authors wish things to be, not as they are. I must admit to letting my fantasies soar thru these staories. As I said before, it's comforting. But if I read too many of these fictional stories, I run the danger of believing they are true, or at least could be true. I think that's one of the reasons the Bible teaches us to be careful of what we let in our minds thru our eyes. So I just wanted to put that out there for your consideration.

Dakota