But I truly do believe that the act of sex is the strongest thing next to trust, you can't get any closer then sex. I do not view sex as a way to 'get my rocks off' I can't think of anything I'd rather do with someone I love. Sure this could be wrong, it's not open to discuss though, It's just my opinion formed by experience.

'Scott' I guess I'll call him. I was his friend since i was four years old. We grew up and hung out. Then all the other stuff happened with another male, then one night me and Scott.. it just happened. I loved it, not because it was sex, but because, gosh, I can't explain it. The euphoria of someone giving themselves to you, entrusting you with that. From like age eleven, to age fifteen, almost every interaction we had was sexual, sure, we did other things before and after, and we both knew what 'spend the night was' then one day, he just called it quits.

A few years later (being last year) we 'casually' masturbated each other.

Just the way I grew up was not good.
And now he's in a relationship he's been in it for 3 years now, with a girl who is also my friend. AH! See, even if I WANTED a non sexual, yet somewhat romantic relationship with him, one, i don't think he's interested, and two, I couldn't do that to them. They're not like other people who date, it also is hard to explain. I just wish I felt nothing sometimes. I wish I just liked no one. Things would be far more simple. I'm hard headed, way to rational, and probably the meanest person ever at times, but I can't just NOT care for people.