Just as easy as it is to make is sound like I'm being ungrateful - is just as easy as I can make it sound like there isn't a whole lot to be grateful for.

Sure I may have food, water and a place to sleep, but that's basically all I do. I essentially mooch off of my brother and my mother - not on purpose mind you. And tensions grow really strained because of this too. I'm supposed to have a job in about 30 days or I WILL be homeless. So yeah - all the 'luxuries' I have in this house don't mean a damn thing when I spend all my time looking for a job that isn't there - praying to a God that apparently isn't listening, waiting for my appending doom that awaits me because God won't lift a fucking finger in my time of need.

Oh but that's not HIS time.
God knows I wouldn't last two weeks out on the street.
So forgive me if I don't standby and pretend that I trust God.
I don't.
Things are getting to thin between sanity and insanity - things are becoming to close of a call for any kind of comfort - anywhere.
I'm just not going to lie - I don't have high hopes of an angelical rescue.