For me it comes down to starting points.

If I start with eternal torture... then I have to reconcile God's character to that... I'd be like you... confused, unsure and doubting.

BUT

If I start with a God who is perfectly good, just, faithful and loving then I have to reconcile eternal torture with that. Then I am left to admit that... from my current perspective... eternal torture doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me... but that is ok becuase I'm sure the loving, good, faithful, just God won't do anying malicious, unjust, unfair, evil or in anyway untoward. So I can put up with the the gaps in my understanding for the time being and leave difficult things to a God I trust.

Yes the Scriputres talk of eternal torment... but they also tell us that we are looking through a window that has been darkened so we can't see through it clearly. We don't have a full picture yet. The passages on eternal torment are vague and lacking in much practical detail. Far better to build our faith on what is clear and without dispute that is the HOLY, GOOD and LOVING nature of God.

Blessing
Cat.