I don't think you have it worse so much as you deal with it worse than some other people. You can't always control what happens to you but what you can control is how you react to it. Also many of the people on this board have been here for years and years so have been thinking about it and figuring out how to deal with it themselves for a long time. Most BL (I'd venture to guess 90%+) have at one time dealt with some kind of problems directly related to it whether it's anxiety, depression, or something else. Stick around here, register your nick, continue participating and I think you will feel better. It will take time and introspection and work but you can do it.