Nice to meet you all and thank you so much :)

He is 14 years old. I met him 2 years ago at school. In fact, I haven't show my love to him too obviously until this few months because I am afraid I will never see him as I will study overseas in the following September. I couldn't suppress my feelings and love to him in the these few months as I want to cherish every moment with him. In fact, I am having a study leave right now and it is diffcult for me to not seeing him for a month...

I still believe in him and his tears at the time I told him what I am suffering. I know we may not come as close as before, which I find it very difficult to overcome. I have texted him to say sorry that I have gave him the pressure of being loved by a BL. He replied not to worry and he didnt want me to abandon myself to despair. When I ask him to wear more clothes as it is getting cool as well as hoping him doesnt mind this kind of sickening ( I dont know which word to use) message. He replied that he wont ignore me becuase we are friends. Friends, I know I should be happy about it, but, I dont know how I can adjust my behaviour towards him.

I am very emotional rather than rational and my emotions drive me on the way. I am a semi-Christian I think, though I live in a eastern region with freedom of religion, Buddhism still plays an important part here. I believe in God but I still dont know why God has made me like this, though I know I shouldn't ask this question... Hope I intepreted the points well.

Again, Thx for all your support. I am happy to be here.