I'm really pleased you've found your way here - it sounds like we will be good company for you on the road ahead. I recognise your feeling of loss - my nick comes from my first real YF (young friend is the term we tend to use here - not implying anything sexual) whom I was only with for 3 months - yet 25 years later I got choked up about him when I drove close to where he lived. I have subsequently become as close to others - but...

I can't say any of us have found easy solutions; but having others around who are struggling with the same issues does help lots.

If you want to register your nick email the webmaster; you may want to read this guide to email addresses first:

http://www.glgarden.org/safemail/

I look forward to hearing more from you.