I think perhaps sex and intimacy only happen when there is love between. Sex is 'easy': you just do it. (although for me that was always a problem) Intimacy can be [sort of] 'had' just without sex in quiet conversation - (David and Jonathan) - but sex and intimacy together is a whole different ballgame and can only come with trust and love between two people. That takes time and, even more, the need for trust leaves you open to commitment too. This is how the human relationship thing works (just like in our relationship with God come to think of it.) If there is no trust there can be no intimacy. If there is trust there is inevitably a pathway to commitment even if you don't actually walk upon it (because trust involves opening yourself to the other person without holding back). For the person who is terrified of commitment (as so many guys on the gayscene are) intimacy, in the way you describe it, is something to be avoided - then all you have left is sex.
Most 'well-adjusted' people get bored of this in the end but with really needy people who don't have a real grip on themselves you can see how the sex without intimacy can then prevent them from 'doing' intimacy later even when they meet the person who offers it. Then the sex has become a barrier to love instead of a gateway. This can set up a 'loop' in the way that drugs or alcohol do. Loops go on for ever until someone or something stops it. That may seem an extreme example perhaps but there a many smaller pitfalls along the way . . .
So you may find sex, and you may find intimacy but asking for both together is a surprisingly tall order.