I myself had three significant yfs as a teen with whom I was very much in love. One was an "at school only" relationship and really had no substance to it... The other was a boy from scouts and I was so so so sad when he moved away. The third and most passionate was a longish term relationship with a boy from when he was 8 till he turned 13. Eventually his mother took him away from me and I was totally devestated... I was 18 and I had a breakdown which took me totally out of action for many months.

Coming into Christian fellowship was the thing that woke me back up and filled my life with joy and happiness.

I had other yfs since then (over 20 years ago) but never fell in love again until recently.
Now I live in fear of losing my yf (in particular I worry about him dying). It doesn't overwhelm me, but it could if I indulged it.

My biggest worry is that if I lost him my grief would be so disabling that EVERYONE around me would know how deep my affection runs and I'd effectively out myself as in love with him. I can't imagine the impact that would have on my family and community.

One day at a time... that's how I live.
Blessings
Cat.