I don't think that I'm really lookig for any answers right now I think I'm just speaking my mind more or less. I've rarley ever kept a journal so I guess I consider the lot of you to be it, for better or worse. I have been spending alot of time with my best friend. I'll call him Scott. I've known Scott for as long as I can concieve. Ever since I made "friends" or discovered I liked or didn't like stuff, Scotty was there. At first our frienship was like "well school sucks so let's make the best of it" kind of mentality. But then our relationship grew and developed into a tangiable object. I really just want to talk openly if I may, some of the stuff may be a little descriptive, or erotic even, if it's too much by all means please edit the post accordingly, as it is not my intentions to be naughty or arouse anyone. And by chance you are aroused I'd appeciate it if you wouldn't get off to my inner most thoughts and remeber to keep the correct mentality while reading this.

Disclaimer: all actions I speak of are legal.

Anyway when I was eleven, had already begun sexploration with another boy, Wayne. We had basically done evrything except what involved penetration, and that's only so far on the timeline. So I knew all about sex by then, but I wasn't atrracted to Wayne, so when I told scotty about the pleasure I was expirencing and of course it sounded interesting. So we began to touch each other. It was like we where out under a spell. From the instant we grasped each other, we became so into it. Slight sighs of pleasure, the occasional giggling, all we wanted then was to make each other happy. Things escalated. From maybe age twelve and on I have loved him. I
I began to love his taste. Yes, he tasted lovley. And no, I didn't just lick where you think I did. Arms, chest, belly, thighs. I wanted it all. It was strange because sometimes we get sexual after
a baseball game being all sweaty. Even his smelly thirteen year old balls turned me on. And more so when we where clean. The soap he used on his skin was irresistable. At one point we showered together and it was the most romantic moment in all my childhood. A washed each other and got it on. We even went out to a meadow one night just for the thrill of it. I remember eating his semen, and I don't know why. I wanted every single part of him. As this continued I also began going all the way with Wayne. I wanted Scott though. I wanted to kiss him, because I never had. Anyway it all stopped eventually until we where eighteen, and we began to masturbate each other again, I mean four years later and still under the same spell. Our bodies up agaist each other moaning, I wanted to kiss him so bad. But then it stopped and m pretty sure it won't happen again. God knows I Wish it would though. But I've been hanging out with him alot latley and every time I see his stomach or he bends over. Just remeber. I still have a picture of him when he was thirteen in his baseball uniform, and he is still as beautiful to me now, as a man then he was once as a cute, handsome little boy.