To answer the questions from your original post: I think all of us here have been through this stuff at one point or another. I certainly have.

I think that is it possible that satan is just trying to "derail" you with these temptations, but I can't know for sure. I once thought just about the same thing as that. I knew I had always liked kids and always felt comfortable around them - especially boys. And then I started noticing the attractions and in searching for the cause, I thought that Satan was trying to pervert the innocent liking that I had towards kids (again, especially boys). I even thought that I might have had a demon in me or something. :/

Thus, I fought it... pleaded with God to take it away from me. "God take this evil attraction away from me!" Sooner or later I figured out, with help from this forum, that I am who I am.

Anyways...

uhhhh... where to start....

First of all, this post makes me all nervous and sweaty (I sweat when I get nervous) because I know exactly what it feels like to do innocent things with boys but still worry like crazy that they will say something and some adult will take it the wrong way. Or even if they don't take it the wrong way they might still think it is inappropriate.

Secondly, I have to just go ahead and say that you ARE doing more good than bad for these boys! Especially if you are being a good christian role model. Even more so if you are simply showing them LOVE! Love is, after all, "the most important of these". And boys, especially nowadays, NEED LOVE! Even boys who have perfect home lives (is there really even a perfect home?).

I too am sort of a youth leader. Actually, in just a few minutes I will be going to church to help teach the middle school boys. And I have close relationships with some of them. And I feel SO privileged to have the chance to be someone who they look up to.

About cuddling – I think I speak for most everyone here when I say that as a boylover one becomes more and more aware of just how much boys WANT and NEED to be shown love through touch. Personally, I don't think there is a thing wrong with you cuddling with him, as long as nothing happens sexually.

Okay I've written too much... :P

I look forward to reading your replies!