The thing that troubles me the most in all your recent posts is when you woke up cuddling the boy. I don't know the whole situation or your relationship with the boy beyond what you've said. But I think cuddling with the boy while you're alone in a tent during a sleepover is a very bad idea. And just because the boy said it was fine doesn't mean he wasn't troubled by it. Maybe he really was fine with it, but maybe he just didn't know what else to say. But even if he WAS fine with it, I still think it's a very bad idea. Actually, I think sleeping alone with a boy is a very bad idea to begin with, for people like us. It's a very small step from draping your arm around the boy's chest as he sleeps to letting your hand wander down to his crotch when you think he will never know.

Apparently you aren't taking the advice of that one boy's father when he said not to be alone with a boy. This is important when working with youth for boylovers and non-boylovers alike. For us, it's important because we don't want to put ourselves in a situation that might cause temptation. But you also don't want to have even a hint of impropriety. That can derail your youth ministry big time if acusations or even suspicions surface.

As for when cuddling is ok and when not, I think a good rule of thumb is if you would feel comfortable if you were cuddling in public. If not, then don't do it in private. Yes, I think most boys want and need a certain amount of physical affection. But as they grow older, outright cuddling usually becomes uncomfortable because they don't want to look gay. Why do you think a lot of boys like to wrestle with people they like? It's a manly way to obtain the close physical contact they crave.

Protect the boy and protect yourself. Refrain from being alone with them, especially in an intimate enviroment. And I strongly urge you not to sleep with them.

Dakota