I hope it will crystallize for you, this thing you mention that God wants us to know that we are overlooking.

Keep us posted.

I am sure you will indeed have to be a partner in making it happen if you're going to find a good relationship. I think this repeats something I said before, but to find someone who's wonderful to you and who also finds you to be wonderful to them, you have to meet a fair number of potentially compatible people. And, unless you experience mutual love at first sight, which is rare, you might end up being interested in a few people who you find very interesting, but they won't or can't reciprocate. So really, you have a task, which is to come into the social circle of at least a high-school sized group of gay guys you could reasonably consider the sorts of guys you might be interested in, let's say a hundred or two.

This just replicates the situation straights are in when they go to high school and college. It's just that we are less common, so that in a typical small town we might know maybe 4 gay guys in our interest group, as opposed to maybe 75 straight guys.

This means actually trying to do some socializing and networking with gay guys. For many people this means at first going through meeting some people they really find quite off-putting - it seems you always have to meet one scary drag queen type (who is later revealed to be a nice person beneath the mask) and one uncute slimeball guy who tries to have it off with everyone, etc. But after this 'stereotype acclimatization boot camp' then one can get on with meeting nice guys and their friends. It really is much easier to do in a city than a town, though. To get started in a small town (which is my background), you almost need to go to the nearest big city first and then work the connections you make from there back to your town again.

I joined a gay campus organization that had up to 400 members - would I have met my bf, who came from the opposite side of the continent, if I'd stayed home? Obviously not - the one time he visited my home town he was very glad to escape as soon as possible.

I don't think that "God helps those who help themselves" is the missing link in your thoughts, but somehow his miraculous nature does still oblige us to get out there and do the impossible ourselves, too.