The more i chat with people either via this site or by email or by IM the more i realise that i am sooooooooo BLESSED.

My YF, i know now ,is one in a million , i am sure his heart is made of gold.
The love, emotion,care and attention he shows me when were are together (albiet not as often as i would like) is just so magical it is beyond description.
When i am with him, his presence is spell binding, his touch so perfect. I am also at my happiest , and i am sure it shows.
After he departs i ride on a crest of an emotional wave for days, and all i look to is when the next time we will be together.

I know he has emotional feelings for me, because of his actions, he leans his whole body against me , even if there is no need to , he will take my hand even if just for a few moments to reassure him that we are 'with' each other. I would love to know , how often he thinks of me or what he thinks of me when we are apart.

I pray so much that i will be in his life and thoughts forever , but deep down i know i must realise that this is unlikely - but not because of my wishes.

I want to do so much with him ,i mean day trips , games of soccer st the local park, trip to the swimming centre etc but hold back my true inner wishes , because at anytime his mom can stop our friendship if she so desires.
That is the last thing i want as that would break my heart.

My YF is nearly 10 , and it feels like walking a tightrope - one stupid move and i am gone ! I am 95% she does trust me - what do i need to do to make it 100% ?