I like to think myself a logical person; someone who is not often swayed by emotions or impulses. Obviously things like jealousy should be beneath me. But recently, I was humbled by the discovery that I am very much susceptible to such feelings.

I was blessed with the opportunity to spend an extended amount of time with a bl friend not long ago. As was inevitable, there were many occasions in which he came into contact with my yf. I was very surprised at my initial feelings when they were together. I recall one instance in the very beginning where my yf was taking his shirt off and I had an overwhelming urge to block my friend's view or somehow force him away. When they would wrestle or play around in any way, I would get very jealous and quickly want to pull my yf away or quickly come up with something to do that gets him away from my friend.

Over time, I overcame the jealousy. I began to feel comfortable with letting them play around and with letting my yf walk around in however little clothes he wanted to walk around in. Victory over senseless emotions at last?! Far from it... A new emotion started taking over, as bad as the previous one. Now I was feeling proud. I was enjoying "showing off". I was not just tolerating that my yf was walking around in his underwear in front of another bl, I was secretly enjoying the jealousy that might make the other person feel. I was reveling in the fact that he could admire from a distance, but it was into my arms my yf was headed, it was with me he would wind up cuddling as we enjoyed a movie or whatever the case may be. Like a materialistic person might do with their new sports car, I enjoyed showing off my yf.

I never did overcome that second part. I no longer have another bl around all the time, so it's impossible to tell if with time I would have overcome this second emotion too.

So, has anyone else experienced such things? Have you ever been with another bl and your yf?