Nice one guys! that was very amazingly insightful and wise. I found myself agreeing with all your responses and indeed learned more about myself from them.

newgeorge , you were spot on, I'm an extreme perfectionist, probably above the normal. I like everything to be aesthetically in place, organized and pleasing to the eye, I could spend hours meticulously just organizing a book shelf so that everything is placed in a balanced and even manner to contain an element of "feng shui" and if the things in my life don't turn out exactly how I want them to I often give up on them totally or start over again. I think that side of me does influence my attraction towards only what I see as the perfect looking boy. I hadn't realized it before until you pointed it out.

Cat, I think you were also spot on when you said "attraction would indeed seem superficial if you don't follow it to its purpose. You never get past thinking a boy is hot or not into genuine relationship" I actually never realized it until you said it, I have only come to love from far so I never actually come to learn boys personality or grow to love other aspects beyond the superficial things.

Godspell, I choose to keep away from boys because for many reasons, but none of them because I lack self control or anything like that, mainly because the whole honesty thing, I hate living my life in secrecy and I'm just tired of it all, I don't want to pretend anymore and it seems like too risky and much work to befriend a YF and constantly worry about if he will find out, or if his parents will find out of if you will face legal issues, and I would also feel lousy about being deceptive or selfish in choosing a boy that I felt physically attracted to whilst he had no idea and thought of it as just a simple friendship, and I assume it would complicate everything and my life is already extremely complicated as it is due to health reasons I don't want anymore added stress or worry.

Even if it wasn't against the law for someone like us to be friends with boys then I would still find it challenging enough to find YF that I liked enough to bother being friends with due to my extremely selective attractions. Just because I'm a BL doesn't mean that I'm just attracted to any boy. My whole attraction is governed by my visual aesthetic senses. Sure I could probably grow to love regular boys personality but without the physical appreciation there would be something missing.