Perhaps its just me or possibly a trait of this sexuality, I'm not sure, I'm still learning about myself and about my attraction so I would like to hear from you guys..

All the strong emotions of attraction I feel are purely a result of a visual element. Without my sight I wouldn't even know what my sexuality was, or even what falling in love felt like. This makes me an extremely shallow person I guess. It even goes against my character and I disagree that love should be superficial but its how I am and I can't change it. I guess none of it really matters anyways, its not like I'm ever going to be with a boy anyways as I don't agree personally with the whole YF or adult child interaction thing, I mean if I was a heterosexual or gay then my shallowness might have been an issue as it could have ruined a lot of my relationships but in this case its useless and it makes no difference how I feel, however I would still out of curiosity like to learn more about my feelings and who I am.

I find my eyes just wondering past boys during a day out and find myself judging them in my mind, saying things like "he looks okay, or oh my god his so cute, or eww his a bit chubby or his heads too big or he has bad skin or marks on his face or his eyebrows are a little too hairy or his just plain ugly". I know its wrong and who am I to judge but it still happens and I cant control how I think.

I think boys can have some of the most flawless skin, and perfectly
symmetrical, proportional faces and the most amazing eyes in the world.
It's the whole package that I'm attracted to and if anything is missing from that package I just dont feel the attraction at all. If see a boy with golden blond hair, big bright blue eyes, smooth skin without any blemishes or marks, a button nose, with a sweet voice, walking with attitude, in hip clothing, with cute feet, fluffy hair, with a cute flawless face and facial features and a gaze that would melt your heart along with a great slender athletic build then I find myself in that zone known as love.

If he also happens to be wearing a hooded top especially with the hood pulled down over his head, or a cap with baggy pants and doing his little strut with attitude then my heart does back flips.

I seem to be attracted to perfection, boys who have that airbrushed type appearance with very symmetrical and well proportioned facial features almost like those lovable Japanese Anime or Manga characters with those big expressive eyes. Even if a boy who looks beautiful from the side profile turns his face and I see that his nose is slightly out of proportion or his smile looks odd I immediately get switched off and
the things that I found attractive suddenly diminishes because of something stupid and possibly insignificant.

I once attended a festive event where there were thousands of boys and despite the majority of them being at my preferred age of attraction of 11 - 15 years, I only saw about 8 boys there that I actually felt attracted to throughout the whole day, and I find that is the case with me usually, despite having traveled to several countries for holidays in the world I rarely see a boy that gets my heart racing. Why do I have to be so superficial? Is this how it is with you guys or most BL's or am I just exceptionally shallow ? If I was blind would I even know that I was a boy-lover ?