I am still here much! Funnily enough my dad's computer died (it had about 217 viruses).

I remember someone posting something at an earlier date about us "being God's young friend". I just want to say for the record that that has actually let me feel more appreciation for the 'spiritual father' figure than anything else in the whole of Christianity. I guess it's because, knowing how much I would love a boy, it makes me feel all 'special' in side to think of it the other way around. It's more attractive to me. I cannot think of God archetypally as a creator or blood father because I would feel... a great deal of wretchedness.

I was about to say that Jesus' figure as a hero and matyr is actually stronger, but on second thoughts I think it all depends on the mood you are in at the time. Both the Son and the Father bring me feelings of elation at different times.

I guess although I am not a Christian I could be diagnosed as having 'Christian spiritual needs'. I guess the title is a bit misleading, it's not boylove itself that is the deification, it just helps unlock a lot of aspects of it. It's just that my 'affliction' has given me a great deal of understanding about the universe and emotional connections. If you imagine every race, terrestrial or otherwise, as being of different ages, of different knowledges and different needs, the cosmos becomes alive with men and boys. All of a sudden (in my warped mind at least) boylove shifts from a dirty thing that humans do to a vital divine constant.

To completely change the subject, for whatever reasons be they quasi or developmental, I get an incredible elation and natural high from writing and one of my favorite activities is simply writing stories about boys. I am unfarmiliar with how the boywrite trade all works up here in the internets but when I am a bit older and have my own internet connection I would love to share my fantasies, and I think I would like to read others. I write predominantly about emotional things; my favorite themes are nursing, comforting and 'saving' young boys in their times of great stress, however stereotypical that might sound. And my favorite boy's name is Jamie!

- Ryan