I just had to go in to see a doctor today because things aren't getting much better....ok, they aren't getting any better...with my sleep apnea. And not for lack of trying, that's for sure. I have been in and out of the Respiratory Therapist's office many times this week. They are now trying me out with a different machine altogether. So I tried it last night with the same results I have been having. I can fall asleep but once I do I can't stay asleep more than an hour. I did that once last night and then just gave up on it because a whole night of that is actually worse, or makes me feel a lot worse, than just sleeping "normally". So today I felt so bad all day at work, I decided I had had enough and made an apointment to see a doctor this very day, so I had to take whichever doctor I could get. The guy that I got was this new foriegn doctor. He is from somewhere in Africa and is working here in my town just long enough to be able to practice in his home country. I have heard that this guy is prejudice and doesn't like white people, and now I know it is true. Man, I tried like crazy to explain my situation the best I could (I'm also having trouble speaking somewhat because I'm so exausted...the words just don't come out very well any more...) and he sat there looking at me like I was some kind of cock roach or something. He kept talking to me like I had no idea what I was talking about, even though I told him that I do understand what sleep apnea is and what the treatment is supposed to do for it. It was like he just wanted to say that it was my fault that I am not responding to the treatment, in fact he did say that in so many words. Then he started to go on about my weight. I told him that I am trying to lose weight as much as I can but it is almost impossible right now because A. I am completely exhausted all the time and, B, from what I have read, it is almost impossible for someone with untreated sleep apnea to lose weight. It has something to do with your metabolic rate and the body's inability to regulate that rate if you can't get any sleep. It's like a bad catch 22 situation. Man, we almost got into a bad argument right there in his office. It was like he really didn't want to be there or be seeing me at all and he didn't hide how he felt at all, either.

Now I have dealt with people from many, many different countries and cultures and I know the difference between a cultural difference and someone who just doesn't like you. He fits into the second catagory perfectly! I was so pissed when I left that place! He did prescribe me some sleeping pills, although I am kind of scarred to try them. But I guess I will because at this point I'm so tired I am willing to try anything. It just pisses me off to be treated like that because anyone who knows me knows that I am probably THE least prejudiced person you will ever know. I just HATE prejudice!