I'll never have a 'love life' really.
He completes me. We've been friends for over ten years.
I can be having the darkest day and he brightens it up like no one else.
It's been this way for a long time.
I imagine myself in one of those lame movies where the guy never tells the girl that he really loves her, so she marries some other guy and he looses her forever. I'm afraid of that. At times I think he's just going through the motions with his girlfriend, like - he likes her, but - maybe not as much as one would think. I'm afraid of a missed chance. I don't ever want to loose him as a friend, but I'm a very rough person and I can learn to live without people, and I've done such. I just don't know which idea is better. I might loose him, but gain the ability to live with myself and know I was always true to my feelings, but loose him. Or I could always have him, always wondering if it could have been something more. This wouldn't be someone I would want to have 'sex' with, it's someone I would want to make love too. A whole new level. Even when we where kids, it -guess- (assumed) it was just casual for him, but I loved every minute of it. And I need to tell him that. I have no regrets, except wondering why every boy (now adult) I've ever been with (however long or short) always ends up being strait or pretending to be strait.