Yeah, us young guys tend to be like that. In some of the less restrained forums than the CBLF, I've often been told that I "haven't reached that stage yet". Apparently, as we enter our 20s and 30s we start to want to **** boys, rather than just be with them. It's a shame, and I hope it doesn't happen to me.

Hi THP,

If I remember correctly, you're not a Christian, right? And that's fine (though, of course, I hope you will be one day :-). I just mention that because I tend to think from that perspective, and need to remind myself that Christians don't have a monopoly on "living right" and "making the right choices". So, in that sense, my comments will apply to you, too, even though we might have a different worldview underlying our motivations. Anyway, I'm rambling ...

I am WELL into my 30s, and I find boys very attractive ... but I do NOT want to **** them. I believe to do so would be wrong. And on that basis, I have made choices throughout my life (with admitted occasional lapses) to REJECT thoughts or actions that would move me TOWARDS such desires. Instead, with God's help, I try to continually cultivate a pure heart. I don't want to necessarily fear having attractions to boys, but I DO want to make sure that I always value them for their immeasurable inherent worth, and treat them (in my thoughts and actions) with dignity and respect. I know I am prone to "objectify" them for their physical attractiveness. But, the more I make choices that MOVE ME AWAY from such a perspective and MOVE ME TOWARDS seeing them with love and honor (placing their own best interests above my own), the LESS I fear ever having a "want to **** them" mentality.

Being a Christian certainly helps me greatly, and I can't imagine living without His Holy Spirit in my life. But, in something like this, I think it comes down to the choices we make, and Christians and non-Christians alike get to make choices. We "train" our hearts by the choices we make. The more we choose to give in to our darker desires, the more those desires will begin to rule us. The more we choose to live rightly, treating others the way we would hope to be treated ourselves, the more our thinking will become "pure" and "holy".

I would encourage you to NOT give into the "as we enter our 20s and 30s we start to want to **** boys" thing as a "fait accompli" (a fact). It doesn't have to be that way. It all comes down to the choices you make now and continue to make in the future.

Can I leave you with a Bible verse? :-)

"So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves." -- Galatians 5:16 [NLT]

[http://bible.cc/galatians/5-16.htm for other translations.]

At the core of the verse, even if you strip it of its Christian content, is the idea of actions and consequences. If we "follow" a certain path, it will have a certain outcome.

To quote from the great Sarah Connor, "The future's not set. There's no fate but what we make for ourselves." :-)

Blessings,
Rainboy