First of all, we have all been through similar or nearly identical experiences. I've experienced the feeling of going from gay to bl as I grew but my attraction didn't grow with me and I have heard that same feeling described again and again by others. In this, you are definitely not alone.

Now, to your question; I think the answer is difficult to give because the answer is not just a yes or no. There are very few situations in which I would encourage anyone to tell someone who is not also minor attracted about their attractions. Most of the time, it is a risk with very little if any reward and the potential for great consequences. Even in situations where the person takes it well, the experience of those I know who have come out to others has been that the person they come out to cannot really understand the feelings involved and finds it a difficult topic to discuss; thus they avoid the topic and the bl is left just as unable to discuss things with them as they were before coming out. I doubt there are many straight people who would be of any value to a bl in terms of giving them someone to discuss bl issues with. Ultimately, I don't think your sexual attraction is anyone else's business. However, one of the few situations where I do believe you need to tell the person is in the case of someone who will be your spouse. Whether or not you believe that it is something your spouse is entitled to know, chances are your wife will feel that it is and will feel deeply betrayed if she is forced to discover it some other way. While I do not believe the myth of a "no secrets" relationship is possible, I do believe that this is something your spouse needs to find out from you and not from discovering some browser history you forgot to clear, an email you left open, or some other such slip up that is bound to happen in your lifetime. So, the question is, is this the person you will marry? How sure of that are you? If it is, then I believe telling her might be right