"The point of having a term like YF is to enable us to differentiate between all the boys we know and the one (if any) whom we have a special relationship with."

I totally agree with this concept. But I think we would differ on what qualifies as a "special relationship".

I don't think a yf is the equal of a 'girlfriend' per se. As much as the BL may WISH for things to be like that... circumstances may not allow it. But if there is a suitably close and intimate friendship despite the limitations then I would still most certainly call the kid a YF.

"If you don't spend any significant amount of time alone with the boy in an environment of your choosing, chances are you shouldn't be calling him a YF."

I don't believe that being alone with other people's kids is good for me. I don't believe that this disqualifies me from having a YF. I certainly DO see my current YF as such and there's plenty in our relationship that makes me feel this is justified.

All of this is inconsequential to my original point. We can seriously fall for boys who may never get to be our YF in a "significant amount of time alone" type of situation. There are degrees of security as I suggested and we have to watch out who we fall for.

Blessings
Cat.