Desires are what they are, something we may or may not be able to fulfill. Believe it or not, somewhere in the world there is a boy who might just come very, very close to looking exactly like the one you describe. With all of the millions of young boys living on our planet, I wouldn't be surprised. Of course no boy can ever be exactly like your perfect, imaginary boy, because he only exists in your mind. I have one too. He is kind of a combination of different boys who I have known throughout my life. He is perfect to me and I love him dearly, but he is not real. There was a time when I would fantisize about him for hours on end, but then the bubble would burst and I would be no better off than I was before, except maybe a whole lot hornier. I have realized that while this can be fun to do, it doesn't accomplish much for me, so I don't do it very much any more.

Then one day I met the boy who would become my YF, and he was quite different from the "perfect" one I had in my head for so long. And yet he was perfect because I loved him dearly and he loved me dearly, and we had a friendship that was so close to being perfect that it was almost frightening at times. I sincerely hope you will be able to experience this kind of friendship with a boy in your own life, because it will be the greatest, most life-changing and fulfilling experience you will ever have. But don't worry about that imaginary boy you carry around, he will always be a part of you as well. I still have mine, but we haven't visited one another in a long time. Maybe we should, he might be lonely...I know I am sometimes.