That is a very wise observation, I may have very well been taken for a test drive in the absence of his father, but still he should have known better than to have discarded a friendship like some object especially when we shared so much time and joyous moments together on a daily basis.

Although there are notable differences this is something like what it must feel for socially acceptable couples when one breaks up...but the part that makes this so devastating is that for some of us BL the opportunity of meeting a boy can be extremely rare, in fact I may never have the chance to meet another YF in my lifetime ever again, which is why I am having such a hard time letting go of him.

I feel so tired and discouraged by this life, I dont want to even be here anymore, its just becaue of my parents Im still stuck here in this hole putting up with whatever you call this existence. The idea of God loving me may be consolidating to a point but an entire lifetime of emptiness and loneliness which awaits me is just so discouraging.

I know you guys are mainly positive thinkers and have learnt to find peace in what you have and not what you don't and most of you are just happy with volunteering here and there and working with boys, but it just doesn't work for me. We are all different and at the end of the day I am not happy settling for scraps when the rest of the world is indulging in their cakes. I just wish I was normal but realistically all I wanted was to have a few good years of being best friends from this relationship and I couldn't even have that. This life sucks so bad!