I know you guys are mainly positive thinkers and have learnt to find peace in what you have and not what you don't and most of you are just happy with volunteering here and there and working with boys, but it just doesn't work for me.

Gosh, I really wish that were true. I guess it's kinda cool we give that impression. But, in fact, we have a pretty mixed bag of folks here. We have happy ones and unhappy ones, positive thinkers and negative thinkers, ones who have YFs and ones who don't even believe in having YFs.

I have had a very close relationship with my current YF for over 2 years now. He's not the first YF I have had, but he is without a doubt the one I've grown closest to and with whom the relationship has lasted the longest. I always thought a time would come when he would no longer need me and we would drift apart, but he's 13 now and it hasn't happened yet.

My yf and I have gone through good times and bad. It's hard work and I've had to make a lot of sacrifices for the sake of our relationship. But I believe it to be worthwhile. Working with kids is wonderful and has brought me much joy, but yes, having a YF is much better. I don't think the two are mutually exclusive though.

If having a YF is something you want and you are willing to make the sacrifices it takes to have one, then there is no reason to believe you won't. Not long ago I was having this same conversation with a bl friend who honestly believed that he may never have the opportunity to have a YF because he just couldn't fathom how such a situation might arise. My conversations with him these days revolve around how he is going to juggle two simultaneous YFs and whether such a thing is even possible since two YF candidates are suddenly in his life simultaneously.

Now is probably not the time to start thinking about how you will go about getting ready for the prospect of future YFs. Now is probably the time to get on with other aspects of life and put some distance between you and this breakup. But do so knowing that the future is wide open. If having another YF is something you want to do, you can do it; there is no reason it can't happen again.