I hope you don't mind me making a comment in this string of posts. I have often pounded my head against the wall in frustration (not literally of course) asking the question "Why?". I think that sometimes we just have to be content not knowing. When you read the Bible you will see that quite often God does not feel the need to answer that. He isn't trying to be cruel or torture us; I think that perhaps there is some knowledge we are better off not knowing.

Yes we are different and God has allowed us to be this way. We don't know why but we do know that somehow it can work out for the good if we follow Him. It is frustrating but then I always try to keep in mind the many other people in the world who live in situations that are far worse than what we have to deal with. People with cancer or, even worse, young children with cancer who maybe have only another year or so to live. And their families who are also going through the process of watching their young son or daughter or sibling suffer and ultimately die. That is just one example but there are many others. In that light we don't have it so bad, really.

I have a 15 year old YF right now. I do love him but am content with just showing him with acts of friendship rather than telling him. I doubt he would take it very well if I told him. Boys of that age seem to be very homophobic. But that doesn't really bother me, I'm just grateful for this friendship and that I get to see him at least once a week. Our friendship revolves around music, which is a wonderful basis for a friendship.

I guess if you can possibly train yourself to look at the positive aspects of your relationship with this boy and not worry about how it could be or should be "if only" than you might be a lot happier. I wish you the best in your friendship.