The main question would be what happened? Losing a YF is a painful process, but the circumstances dictate how you cope. If he grew out of your friendship than it is unfortunate. If you were forced to stop seeing him because of your actions, that is an entirely different case. Coping with loss is not easy, especially for people in this unique situation. I myself am dealing with this difficult situation also, so I understand how you feel. Look into different options such as meditation, religious involvement, or therapy in order to help you understand your emotions and the meaning of the situation. We cannot begin to understand why things happen as they do, but I believe they happen for a purpose.