Boy love - a gift!
Submitted by onceaboy on October 09 2000 22:24:59
In reply to What can we do? How can we change? submitted by Comfort on October 09 2000 17:59:31
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The struggle with loving boys in a sexual way is similar to the struggle others have for lusting woman. Society accepts an affair. Sometimes no one is disgraced, because both are adults. Everyone sins; everyone falls. I am not saying that we should sin, but masturbating about a boy today is not the end of the world. God knows our failings and still loves us. Every human on this planet struggles with something. I don't think we can eliminate the desire. God has given it to us as his gift so that we realize our sin and need for him to love us. The people with the more acceptable sexual desires (by society) are more in the dark. Each day as we struggle, we must lean on God. Others just wipe it off as part of an acceptable thing, saying, "She has a nice ass." However, the "normal" people need to know this too is sin. Is any sin greater than another? We ask for forgiveness and healing, but God will bring us back to him one way or another. Loving a boy is a gift from God to help realize our sinful nature and how we must follow him to victory in all our daily struggles. I agree this sin does seem to consume us at times. Jesus hung on the cross for all our sins, not just the lust of our sexual desires. Sometimes we might forget the other sins we do each day that tear otehrs down because we are so focused on this particular issue. We are more than just boy lovers! I have personally been involved with many boys and built them up - did not tear them down. They come for they know I have a special place in my heart for them. Do I fall in my mind? Sure, sometimes I too masterbate with the thought of a boy. Do I let it consume me or do I move forward knowing God loves me and has given me a gift to reach boys, to connect with them. It is a gift to make the world a better place by having the ability to have close relationships with children. I do understand the temptation. From 11-14, I had sexual relations with a cousin (boy of course). I did distance myself and moved on, still having close relationships with boys throughout my life. Had both a male and female sexual relationship. Male about 3 years and female about 4 years. During these relationships, this sexual desire for boys all but seemed to be dead. However, it came back! To me, God has been with me throughout my life. I never expected to cross the line. I became so intimate with a troubled youth for three years and then something happened. I pulled away feeling suicidal. He was 14. We met when he was 11. He's now 21, and we have reconnected. He never forgot the entire relationship which was based on love - not sex! We still have a relationship. In a sense, he has forgiven me. My prayers were always for healing - helping. Today, his brother's in jail, and he is okay. He has the spark in his eyes. God has found him. Afterall, He is the only one who can change a life. Although I have desires, I believe God has given them to make us get involved and make a difference in boys lives. It is not easy. THe power of Satan is real. However, with prayer for God to use us to change a boy's life is more rewarding than sex. Sometimes when sexual desires arise it's not easy to remember, but if you come to love a boy, how can the deire over take us? I am not saying it is easy, but I found it disturbing that you have totally abandoned boys. You are not evil. Use your love in a positive way, asking God to help make a troubled youth rise up. Why has God given us this ability to love boys? Are you to play it safe and stay on the sidelines trying to keep it all tucked away? The truth is too many boys need love, need to know about the power of God, about how to smile, about how to live! Loving a boy - God's gift - yes! Yet, I am not saying it is easy. At times, I do feel it is a curse, but God knows we are all sinners. Does he not forgive us for our sinful thoughts and want to use us. Don't we have a purpose in HIs plans? I think God wants us to make a difference in our boys and our country. Reach out and keep your nose in the Bible! He will lead us to a closer walk with him. I had never felt closer to God than when I was with that kid I mentioned earlier...miracles abound...unfortunately, after 3 years, I withered away from the Bible and fell. Yet, God forgave. What I have learned is that the sin of loving a boy is a gift providing we do the walk with Jesus in mind. If we fall away from God and keep the relationship with the boy, then Satan will twist things in our mind and help us to fall. God will bring us back! Use the gifts God gave us to build up and not tear down. Love is better than sex especially the love from the Lord. Yes, we fall, but don't think God doesn't know about the sexual desires. He knows. With a boy, keep the focus of God's love in your heart. Stay the course with a troubled youth, and you will connect in spirit where, to be honest, is really matters anyway. Alchol, drugs, gambling and sexual desires are just some of the rushes society uses to fill a hole...the hole we all know can only be filled with God's love. Recently, I am coming to thank God for being a boy lover. The intensity of the desire never stops me from remembering God. I can not handle it on my own~! No one can! Only God can do the walk with you, and I believe He wants us to be with boys giving them love, laughter and life. Remember Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans God has for you says the Lord. They are for good, and not evil, to give you a future and a hope!" Aren't there boys in need of knowing God has a future planned for them and that He heard their cry. Use the gift! Never forget to lean on God by reading the Bible! He'll help us be a force in society to reach boys' hearts and help the "lost" be found. It is a gift to use the love God placed on our hearts to bring the lost to God. Don't play it safe...pray read, focus on the walk with God and you will make an impact on a boy's life! |
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