Without hope
Submitted by Lost on December 17 2000 15:51:40
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I used to be a frequent poster on CBLF... and then, my spiritual life went down the tubes. Porn and lust started to come part of my life. And I was consumed. I feel lost. I can't find happiness. Only lonliness. I can't even look at a boy and not think about sex. I can't think about God. I don't know. I sometimes feel that my life is just a joke. Because sometimes I just feel like the only thing I want I can't have. I just want to find someone I can live with. Someone who will give me total acceptance. And the only place I find anyone who will accept me unconditionally is in the life end eyes of my little boys. Actually, boys around the age of 10 seem to be the best age. They love you without any remorse. They smile and laugh with you and don't look at your problems but your strengths. Their laughs make me laugh. Their tears make me cry. Their pain makes me hurt. Their joy makes me happy. But their love fulfils me. Their absense makes me feel alone. Sincerely, --Lost Roaming though the night to find my place in this world |
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