I think most boys can't handle sex.
Submitted by Once a Boy on December 18 2000 21:51:53
In reply to I will hold firm to my beliefs... submitted by Sprite on December 18 2000 03:37:59
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I would just have to say that based on my own experience of sex from 11-14, and hearing about other boys sexual experiences, there is a great deal of guilt associated with sex. Although you are correct that it brings a high, it is temporary. Based on my personal experiences and hearing from a few boys who were depressed, the pattern regading sex and boys is often the following: Not wanting to do it. Doing it. Feeling good. Feeling bad. Not wanting to do it. Doing it. Felling good. Feeling really bad. This pattern continues except that the feeling really bad gets deeper and deeper. Darkness grows. The boy gets depressed, perhaps even suicidal. I understand this depression may not happen to ALL boys engaged in sex, but indeed, you cannot deny that this occurs. A boy I have known since he was three was depressed this summer in part because of "doing the worst thing ever" with his friend. I opened up and told him that it happened to me too. I think it has helped him to know he is not alone, but still, the guilt exists. The guilt is from family, society, and God. The guilt is there for a reason. Further, a boy does not have the experience to deal with such a strong desire and the guilt. We, as adults, with our sexual desires have trouble with this issue. Many in the group have expressed great saddness and lonliness. How can we assume a child is able to handle it?!!! We have more life experiences to help us. Children do not. I am afraid many youth suicides are due to guilt of sexual relationships. Those boys who don't have sex at a young age are free from this maddening high and then guilt described above. I would hope all children could be free from this agonizing issue. There are enough things for an adolescent to deal with. Indeed, boys who experience sex are going through some of the same issues we face when we think lustfully at boys. I don't know how much better we are dealing with the issue of sex, but to advocate that boys can handle this is outrageous. You may be right: there may be a few boys out there who are carefree, but I think there are more boys out there who would feel the way I have described in this post... a high and then a maddening sense of guilt. Is this guilt just from society or is it from God? ~Once a Boy |
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