not yet -- but you keep trying
Submitted by Splash! on January 12 2001 01:19:11
In reply to What, you feel flustered? submitted by Jimf3 on January 12 2001 00:56:07
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I feel the same attraction, Jim. I also think boys are very beautiful in many ways. But it's what I do with the sexual desire I feel toward a boy that I count as sin. What good am I doing for a boy if I'm wanting to be around him because he makes me feel sexually aroused. That's the part I struggle with, and that's the part that God deals with me about. I see it as selfishness, and selfishness is sin -- which means that a lot of things are sin. Even a "normal" heterosexual male sins when he lusts after a woman. But maybe God is dealing with that man on other issues. But with me, I struggle with boylove/boylust. I think it's worse to look upon a child in a sexual manner than when I look upon a woman sexually. And when this sexual desire starts to take command of my life, it's something I need to change. I shouldn't be spending my time looking at pictures of boys, or searching through websites for pictures of boys, or trying to chat with boys, or going to parks to look at boys, etc. etc. etc. I know myself better than most, and to me, these things are sin. What is the purpose of it all? It's all selfishness on my part. But if I can take these desires and make them more holy -- which to me means getting rid of the sexual aspect of the desire and working on the love aspect by mentoring and discipling the boy, and being there for him, then it no longer becomes sin to me. Selfishness is sin. Love is not sin. I strive to weed out the selfish part of boylove and nurture the love. ~Splash* |
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