Restored!
Submitted by Nate on August 2 2001 00:30:51
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Bless God! I still don't know what to think. This past weekend I had been so discouraged about ever being restored to ministry that I had prayed that the Lord would release me from this church and send me somewhere else. I have been restrained from having contact with 2of4 and out of ministry for five years, and restrained from contact with all boys for the past 2 months or so. (I know, some of you are thinking, "Is that all? What a wimp!") I told more of the story in my first post. Monday night, my district pastor said he wanted to talk to me. I thought, "Now what? There is nothing else that they can take away from me, unless they just ask me to leave." What a total surprise! He asked me to take leadership of the small group that I am attending! It is sort of a pastoral role for several families, including lots of children. I met with my head pastor this morning to see what his attitude toward me was like. I knew already that I would not have been asked to do this without the agreement of he and his whole team. I just got to the point with my questions, "I need to know if you are able to forgive me, if you love me, and if I can take off this garment of shame that I have been wearing for five years." He said, "I forgave you a long time ago, and yes, I love you. I can't help you with that garment of shame, but I think you should get rid of it." "Why are you so surprised?," he asked me, "You know that the Lord rewards those who are obedient. I know that you have never lied to me, and I know I can trust you. Believe me, there are lots of people around here who lie to me all the time. Its not like I can't tell. I just needed to know that you would obey what I tell you to do." Wow, I am still not sure what happened or how to feel about it. Thanks for being here everybody! CBF gave me encouragement when I needed it most. I hope this post can give some encouragement to someone else. I will still be around. I need this kind of honest accountability in my life. Bless you all! Nate |
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