meanings and intents
Submitted by F.O.D. on October 6 2001 10:54:11
In reply to Did I say that? Did he say that? submitted by Nate on September 30 2001 19:22:11
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When I phone my YF, I often say bye, and add "kisses", and he usually replies "to you too". Sometimes I even get an "I love you". But the odd thing is, when I get to see him in person, he doesn't say it. I tell him "I love you" just like I do over the phone, he retorts "But I don't love you". He says it mainly as joke. I know he loves me, and I know that he knows he loves me. I gather he gets overwhelmed by the strength of my affection for him when we're together in person, so its his way of making sure he has enough air to breath in. I mention it as an illustration that sometimes we use words, and to some extent we do mean what we say, but we don't necessarily mean them to the same degree that others might take them, or might want to take them. My YF says "kisses to you" over the phone, but it doesn't mean when I see him next he's going to grab me in a strong embrace and plant his lips firmly on mine. I know he likes me and enjoys my company, but he's in no hurry to kiss me, even if he says he will (jokingly I suppose) over the phone. If it's any consolation, my YF doesn't seem to be in any rush to get a girlfriend either, and he's 16. But on the other hand, I've seen him myself while swimming where he couldn't take his eyes off the girls in the water, so there's not much point my hoping for the hopeless... I just gotta wait for the inevitable, sigh. I guess the point I'm making is that you probably shouldn't take this refreshing intimacy between yourself and D3 to be anything more than what you originally thought: an expression of pure love from an innocent child. Trust your initial instincts (especially if they're confirmed by your other YF) before they get clouded by infatuation. What did he take "I fell in love with you" to mean? It's quite proper to say that parents "fall in love" with their children. Maybe he just understood you that way? Why don't you take D3 to the local pool?, and watch how he reacts... ;) At least you could have the privilege of choosing a decent girl for him... ;) Fod |
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