Feeding the Dog
Submitted by DW on November 16 2001 15:32:23
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Hey! I'm glad to see this forum is still around. I've been "away" for a long time. Spent too much time pursuing other things. Things I shouldn't have. Before this forum was created, I suggested in Boy Chat that there should be a forum for christian BLs. Don't know if that had anything to do with the creation of this forum, but I'm glad it's here. Just want you to know what's been going on in my life lately. God's been working on me to completely turn away from the life I've been pursuing. My pastor's sermon this past Sunday really hit me hard. He gave an illustration I'd like to share with you. There was this dog fighter that had two dogs he had that he would fight. People would place bets on them each week as to who would win the fight. One week it would be the black dog, the next week the white dog. Never the same twice in a row. The dog owner always predicted which dog would win each time. Someone once asked him, "How do you always know which dog is going to win?" He said, "It's really quite simple. One week I'll feed the white dog, and starve the black one. The next time I might feed the black dog and starve the white one. The dog that has been fed always wins." My Pastor then went on to relate that to our old nature and our "new self", which we become as christians (2 Cor. 5:17). He said the nature that wins is the one we feed the most. He said the old nature was "dethroned" but not destroyed. We can not live apart from that old nature. There is a constant battle between the two natures. It's a continual process. That really hit home to me. I'm so bad about "starving" God (the good things), and feeding Satan (the bad things). Read Romans 7:14-25 to see how Paul struggled with it. I'm like, wow, that's me! I discovered about 6 or 7 years ago, after surfing the web, that I was a "boylover". I've been "feeding" that "dog" ever since. I was the manager/creator of 4 MSN web sites. I can't tell you how many countless hours I spent putting those together, uploading pictures, trying to come up with something new for each site. I deleted all 4 of them! Gone, just like that. I was a member of 39 different e-groups (which is where I got the majority of the pictures for my sites). I have just "unsubscribed" myself from all 39! I was a member of about 30 Yahoo Clubs, all boy related. I've deleted my membership to all of them. I feel like all the time I've spent in those clubs, web sites, and e-groups have caused me to be a terrible steward of the time God has given me. I'm not saying I'll never fall again. Lord knows I've done this before, just not this extreme! (I just remembered I've got about 40 links to boy-related web sites I need to delete!) I feel like a slave set free from a prison cell I've been in for a long time (although I still struggle every time I see a cute boy). I've been consumed by the wrong things, feeding the wrong "dogs", and squandering the time God has given me. I hope I can somehow be an encouragement to you. I'll pray for you, just like I'll ask you to pray for me. It won't be easy to resist the temptation to get back into what I hopefully have left behind. DW |
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