Re: Having a bit of trouble...

Hi Huck, I can certainly relate to this feeling. I have heard many experts say that the use of pictures, photos, tv, the internet and any kind of lusting will feed your 'thought life' and make it almost impossible to get the images out of your head. I have been like this at times in my life. One of my favorite scriptures on this topic is 2 Corinthians 10:5: "...We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ..." With this being said, I would try not to beat yourself up over thoughts that run through your head. Instead, try to look at some practical ways to reduce the bombardment of sexual fantasies. When I am in the car I like to listen to tapes of past sermons (we have a great tape ministry of all past sermons in my church). Certainly, this keeps me focused on spiritual matters. When I see kids I try to interact with them, rather than stare at them. This can often greatly reduce the fantasizing, because it turns boys as 'objects' into real people who are more than just something to look at. For me, looking and fantasizing is a habit that I realize is medicating an underlying need for something. Watching boys for me is a drug, it comforts and eases pain. I'm not sure what that pain is yet, but I am searching. My thinking for you is this: If you are truly happy, truly at peace, truly satisfied in your life, your mind will not need to go to fantasy. How we arrive there is still to be determined of course. But lets try to get there in our lives, rather than having to feel guilty about every thought. You are not alone. Love, Ben