TV is getting me down
Submitted by Dakota on March 20 2002 23:37:47
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I just got done watching an episode of NYPD Blue. It was yet another show with a pedophile in it. Lately, I've stumbled across these types of shows more than usual. I didn't catch the beginning, but the cops had taken in this guy for questioning about paying some street kid to have sex with him. Although the cops didn't really have enough to arrest him, the suspect was genuinely remorseful and confessed. He described himself as sick and said he tried to do as little to the kid as his sickness would allow. (Geez) Anyway, he said he hoped he would have the chance to hang himself, whereby the cops said not to do it there because "death while in custody" paperwork is a pain. Later in private, the cops congratulated themselves on getting the confession and said the only thing that would make it sweeter would be if he followed thru on his suicide threat. Their chosen name to call him throughout the whole show was "perv." You'd think I'd be used to this sort of stuff by now, but it's always hard to watch this type of show that portrays us as a bunch of sick bastards that don't deserve to live. After watching this show, I started thinking about trying to cut out this part of me. Not visiting BL sites on the internet, not admitting even to myself what I was, and not looking at boys I see in that "special" way. But I realized that denying what I am will not make it go away. It just gets so hard, even after all these years, to have something inside me that the world reviles. I'm not asking for any answers, because I don't think there are any. Just venting. Dakota |
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