evil desires
Submitted by sally on March 25 2002 09:58:06
In reply to Re: OK why the title boylovers? submitted by hopesalive on March 24 2002 17:31:27
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Ah, hope is indeed alive. Thank you for you sweet attitude. I am a 21 year old college student. Through most of my life I have hated myself for these feelings. People often talked about how they should just line up all the people like me and kill us. Somewhere along the road I started to agree. I am not trying to be a victim, but I'm trying to give you some understanding of where I, and many here, are coming from. We are oucasts in this society. Not because of our actions, but because of the way in which we see boys. Maybe it not because of how you see boys but because you are talking about your desires as if they are not sinful. Is there some reason that you can't just live your life without having to make society deal with all of this? You are determined not to have sex with the boys then why do you need to talk about it at all. Why not just rely on God to hold you and take care of you and believe that your present suffering is nothing compared with the weight of glory you will receive? How can you be outcasts because of your thoughts? I can't read your thoughts. So if you are outcast it is because of an action. It is because you are speaking and in one sense demanding that society accept you, isn't it? I have a friend who really likes to spank boys. You find that disgusting, no doubt, since you love boys so much. But he loves boys, too, and wants God to deliver him from this sin. The difference between him and you, I guess, is that he thinks that even when the desire comes into his head it is sin. So he is sinning day after day after day. For some reason, gays, and pedophiles have a tendency to believe that their sinful desires are not sin. I'm not sure why that is. I have a very dear friend who told me a few months ago that I was saying her whole life was a sin if I said lesbian sex was sin. "Well, yeah..." I said. "Like, duh!" What have they taught her in church? I told her that her whole life was sin as was mine and every other person's. It's not like we are good people who occasionally sin. We are sinners through and through. We are God-haters and pleasure seekers, selfish self-lovers, enemies of God. That is why it is necessary for Jesus to shed his blood--to reconcile us to God. Jesus died for sin once for all the righteous for the unrighteous to reconcile you to God, Peter says. We are God's enemies and we need to be reconciled. We are dead in our sins and we need new birth. Our entire lives are sinful prior to our salvation. My friend couldn't accept that. She couldn't stand to think that she was a sinner in need of reconciliation to a God who counted her as an enemy and was going to pour out his wrath on her but was willing to love her for the sake of his Son. She clings to the belief that God loves her because she is not as bad as others. She is not as bad as the... spanker, for instance (or the pedophile who would never spank, for that matter). But in God's eyes, the spanker who knows his sin and beats his breast and asks forgiveness goes away justified whereas the one who stands thanking God that she is not a sinner like the spanker and she loves children and helps her neighbors goes home without forgiveness. She never asks for forgiveness and I don't believe God gives it. How do we see them? That's a very hard question. It is a generally feeling of love and protection. In fact, most of us would be much, much more likely to defend a child in trouble, either gender, than the average person. I don't know how you can make this statement. Are you serious? I believe the nice lesbian friend I was just telling you about would die for a child. That is partly why she is so sure God loves her, as is. And I believe I would lay down my life to save any man, woman or child that needed my help. I can say this not because I am so loving but because God's love compels me. But for you to think that you are somehow more loving than the average guy is beyond my comprehension. This strong love (yes, love) is very confusing and can be perverted by Satan or just the flesh into something sexual. This generally only happens to a very powerful extent if somebody is isolated in hate or fear. This leads to the type of community that you have seen elsewhere. Because society rejects them as evil, they find relative comfort in affirming their most obscure feelings and embracing things they would never have if they were properly encouraged. Oh my young brother... I am an old sinner and I can tell you without doubt that it is not society's fault that filthy-minded people of any gender write about sex of any kind, all over the Internet. You can get porn sites for any and every eventuality. Why? Because man is sinful. It is not Satan perverting us. We are led into sin by our own evil desires. And look at the sites for hetero men.... Do you think that all those straight porn sites are in existence because society hates heterosexuals? Don't you have any idea how rich Hugh Heffner got off of porn? I think you are gravely mistaken to think that these men who are embracing sex with boys and who seem to convince themselves that the young boys are seducing them (that is really a strange and twisted thing that they would think that) are just victims of a an unloving society. We all find comfort in our sin. But the way to fight that is to hold up Christ as the one who died to set the prisoner free, not blame society. How does one properly encourage them except to say, "Jesus died for sinners. Repent and lay your burdens down." If they are not sinners then they need no saving. And Jesus died for nothing... if we are all such nice people... This happens in many parts of society with various issues, but I think you get the drift. This is not a place for that. This is a place that lets us know that we are not alone. It gives us strength to push aside that lust and do good. You may find it scary to be alone in a room with a man, but why? Do you actually think that you would have sex with him if he tried? I can honestly say that I would not with a boy. I am not scared to be alone with a man. I'm sorry for giving that impression. I think it is extremely unwise for men and women who are not married to each other to spend time alone. It has nothing to do with fear, it has to do with wisdom. I have had sex with men when they tried. I've initiate sex with men when they haven't tried. I've not since I've been married and I find it highly unlikely that I would now. Still, why would I test myself that way? There is no good reason for me to spend any amount of time alone with a man and many reasons for me not to. Just because I like men and enjoy them and would die for them and even prefer to spend time with them than with women doesn't mean I should spend time with them. Where do we get that idea that if we like something it is wise for us to do it? I like drugs, too, but the cost is more than I want to pay. You say you will not have sex with a boy-- I pray not. I have learned to not trust myself and my own strength so much. I have learned that I am capable of great evil. The sexual part is kinda abstract in that way. It's just some wierd thing that is part of this adult body, but nothing I would consider, or even want to, act on. It probably never would have been a big concern if I hadn't been so worried about being one of those awful people that everyone hates. With that said, I am not running around trying to find boys to be with. I just have a special love for them. You may respond to that by saying, "Have some kids!" Hehe, well, maybe after I get a job I'll consider that and pray about it. I do hope that if I do there will be other adults, men and women, who have a positive effect on my kids. Also, if my child ever experiences these temptations I want him/her to know that they are not evil. We must strive to beat temptations and move forward with our lives boldy for God. They should never feel like most of us here felt when we started getting these feelings. Why don't you think that temptations are evil? I don't get it? I would urge you to marry and have kids. That is God's plan for men who don't want to be celibate. But I don't get why you need to strive to beat the temptations if they are not sinful? Feeling bad about ourselves is a good thing--prior to salvation. We have to realize our sinful estate if we want to be saved. For what need of salvation is there if we are not sinners, conceived in sin and unable to do one thing to save ourselves. We need to be pricked in the heart as those men in Jerusalem were when Peter preached the first sermon to the new church. We are all constantly buffeted by evil desires. The biggest one of which is that our desires are not really evil. It is always the other guy who is evil. To the heterosexual the homosexual is evil. To the homosexual the pedophile is evil. To the pedophile the spanker is evil. When do we stop pointing to the guy below us and saying "Thank you Lord that I'm not like that guy. I'm a pretty decent fellow." When do we look into our own hearts and see the filth there and say, "I'm awful and I have evil desires, forgive me Lord and lead me not into temptation." sally |
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