Re: Hi Splash
Submitted by sally on March 27 2002 12:00:53
In reply to Hi Sally submitted by Splash! on March 26 2002 13:52:21
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Ah Splash, what a tale. I won't lecture you about it since you were not asking for my opinion but trying to tell me why you are here. But I want you to know what a great price I am paying to be still on the "living with women you are not married to" issue... =0) But I will suggest one thing, if I may... Since I am a woman... I hope your present girlfriend knows your secret or at least that you will tell her before you head toward marriage. You said about the last one that you were best of friends but she didn't know... she couldn't be the best of friends then could she? I can't imagine you building a relationship with a woman without telling her about something as important as this thing you struggle with. I would guess that it would be a great strain on you to try to keep this part of yourself hidden and I would also guess that if she ever found out later it would devastate her. It can't be healed (completely) with psychology. Only Jesus can help me through the sinful aspects of being a boylover (mostly the thoughts). Who else is truly going to help me? My friends, family, and even my church would think I was beyond all help -- even though many of them are godly Christians. Plus, a lot of them would see me as a danger to their children even though I know that I know I would never harm a child. Why should I put that needless fear into them? I would suggest you find a new church and new friends. Seriously. I am happy that you have this forum to help you. But do you know what a travesty it is for you to say, "My church will think I'm beyond help." The church is made up of sinful but saved brothers and their main job on earth is to help one another. What higher earthly aim can there be than to preach the gospel to all and then to train, love and edify those who enter the church. Jesus said, "In as much as you've done it unto the least of these mine brethren you've done it unto me." What a statement that is! I have a limited number of days to serve Christ in this special way. Once I am in heaven there will be no more suffering, no more tears, no more hunger or illness... so I have only these fleeting days on earth to serve Christ by being compassionate to his body here. When I serve a hurting brother it is as if I am doing unto Christ himself. So I am going to kick myself for all eternity for all the chances I had to serve Christ here but passed up. And for the times I could have shown him compassion but instead kicked him out of my way because I was too busy to be bothered...? I can't even bear to think of it.... (Well I won't be literally kicking myself because even that sin will be forgiven and will be changed into cause for great rejoicing over the goodness and mercy of the Lord) But my point is that this is what the church is to do. Serve Christ by serving one another. But how can we serve one another when we won't allow someone to serve us? How can we all be the burden bearers and none of us admit we have burdens? Your job right now in the body of Christ may be to allow them carry your burden. Your job may be to be the one in prison they are to visit and the hungry one they are to feed. If they fail you then you have Christ who will never leave you or forsake you and he will use the pain to increase your faith. But if you don't give them the chance... you are not serving them well... maybe you are the fellow who is supposed to help them mature. I have seen much ugliness in the God's Church. But I think we cannot write her off. We have to do what God tells us to do and let him deal with them. Does he tell you tell the church of your problem? Not necessarily all the church... but ... you mentioned you cannot be healed without Christ... but none of us can be healed without confessing our sins, either. To everyone we meet? Probably not. But to some. And we should live as transparently as we can, don't you think? The more transparent we are the less chance that we will fall into pride and all the sins that accompany it. Besides all that, it is tiring to carry a bunch of secrets. Oh well, I managed to turn this into a long lecture after all, didn't I? sorry. (actually I've cut three quarters of it out. so be thankful for that!) sally |
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