my God why have you made us this way???
Submitted by Seamus on 2002-07-11 23:23:53, Thursday
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why are we pedophiles? i guess there is not really any other way to put it. boylover, minor attracted...all junk. we are pedophiles. and why are we this way? i wish i could be normal. i love God very much. I love Him with all my heart and soul. i wish...i wish...i wish... that my mind and flesh were as strong as my soul... but they are not. i have a young friend. we are not sexually intimate. we are intimate, but in a non sexual way. intimate in the way of being close, loving one another. i wish and desire with my flesh for that intimacy to become a physical one...but my heart and soul cry out to God for just the opposite... why am i not strong enough to control my thoughts and desires? as the thread below referenced, Jesus must have been tempted in the same way that we are. yet he did not give in, nor entertain the thoughts. i wish i could do that. i know that i am not right. i desire the benefits that another adult could give me- what i got from my GF (yeah i guess i go both ways) when i had one. unfortunately, my love of boys is what caused her to leave. actually, it was just the fact that my boy-love had allowed me to become an unsuitable lover for her. i loved her, and she me. four years we fought and tried and struggled to make it work. yet in the end...she left. i cried and screamed and begged and drank...(and that sure didnt help) and still she left. i know that my boy can never fulfill me. not with what i need. neither can another human, period. i can get it only from God. why then do i even bother? why do i place myself in harm's way, in midst of temptation, in his arms? i dont know...and that is what kills me... all that i know for sure is that... someday... someday... someday... i will see you in heaven... and i will be curled up in the Lord's arms... being loved like i need |
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