One thing of what you said stands out to me
Submitted by Drifter on 2002-11-28 02:04:24, Thursday
In reply to Not sure about myself submitted by Altima on 2002-11-27 19:29:56, Wednesday
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A lot of times I find myself regretting my current state, there's always that side of me that runs cold with fear at the thought of growing older. I must admit, as would most others (I think), that I do often wish I could go back to being a teenager (perhaps even further back than that). But these are all stages of life and each has its advantages. But I dont remember ever fearing being in my twenties. I fear being in my 40s and still alone, but I dont see what you have to fear about being in your 20's. Do you mean that you fear missing out on your youth because you didnt do the (sinful) things your friends do? If that is what you meant, then let me tell you, I did do what my friends did (except for sex, though I was pressured into dating a girl). I did go out and party, drink, smoke pot and cigarettes, go to raves, etc. but you know what? 95% of those things I regret. If I could go back, I would exchange all of it for a good relationship with God which is what I needed at the time. The results of my wild youth were my current nicotine addiction, my college alcoholism (which came to an end only after hitting rock bottom), and a battle with drug addiction. Worse of all, I grew distant from God in the time I needed him most. I remember still going to church during those years, trying to play the christian game on sundays, trying to play the 'God will forgive me anyways' game. The hypocrisy of praying to God with the same mouth that had just recently been filled with the elements of corruption. I also remember the one kid in the youth group, the one guy my age (I was around 17 at the time) who did the right things. The one who didnt go with the rest of us to do our sinful things. The one who knew how to challenge our lifestyle when the time was right, but who could still laugh and joke around with us afterwards. The one we knew we could go to with any problem and if nothing else he would listen and pray for us and keep the discussion private. I knew that at times he would be jealous of us, because he knew we lived the way we did, and we appeared to have fun (though he didnt know how broken we were inside...at least me personally). But I was even more jealous of him, he was the person I knew I should be but was too weak or stupid to be. More than the youth pastor ever was, this 17 year old..he was my hero. He was who I wanted to be but wasnt. I looked up to him, I respected him, I wished I could be as strong as him. The names of all the people in that youth group I have long forgotten, their faces are lost in the shadowy recesses of my mind. But his name, his image, the example he set, I will never forget. So, whenever you think about bowing to the pressures of youth, think about this...you dont have to prove anything to anyone, your lifestyle reflects the strength of your character, no one admits it because they are young and stupid, but if you live a truly christian lifestyle, then people look up to you. Don't bother trying to look good in front of your peers or trying to enjoy these false pleasures that lead only to grief. You dont need any of that, you may already be somebody's hero. e-mail: webnomad@ziplip.com url: http://www.fpc.net/sites/drifter/ |
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