Re: lots of memories
Submitted by Ray on February 04 1999 at 09:25:23
In reply to lots of memories Submitted by F.O.D. on February 03 1999 at 13:37:20
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F.O.D., I really wanted to get through at least a 9-month or 1 year period in that post, but spent 4 hours and anecdotally got through 4 months. And probably confused the issue by starting off with 4 years chrononology in the pictures. I don't have time to continue the anecdotal record now (breakfast with a brother in 1/3 hour (2 miles away) and lunch with a Mennonite minister and his wife in 3 hours (50 miles away), and a letter I should respond to from another YF. Also, I should check on a sister who is in intensive care since Monday. After several months of being very run down following radiation therapy for cancer and a severe infection, she developed hemmoraging around the brain and was admitted to the hospital totally unresponsive, with stroke like symptoms. (She had recovered from the cancer and the infection and a week ago was admitted to a rehab/nursing center for physical therapy.) Yesterday was the first she spoke to me, but that was just, "OK." She had said as much to two different nurses the day before, but twice when I was there she wasn't as aware. Last evening, she was awake and looking around the room, but I wasn't sure if she recognized me. I held her hand, told her who it was and said "The nurses say you're doing OK." I could tell she seemed to be getting excited some by increased breathing and body movement. Then I said, "Even OK isn't very good, is it?" And her excitement decreased. Then I said, "I'm going to go now, but I'll come back and check on you." And she responded, "OK." Thank God for little improvements! I would at least like to answer some of your questions. There's already so many unanswered ones from below! You wrote: And you were going through the chronology because you were trying to put off the story, weren't you! And then you stopped at the best part! How did lb#2 handle it? Did YF#4 continue to consider you a true friend? Actually, I wanted to indicate that there was more to the story than what I was able to get into one post, but I ran out of time by including the picture captions. I hope to continue at least through that period covered by the pictures, but it might be at least the weekend or after. Thanks for relating the incident you did. I am still struggling with what is "safe" to say in a public forum (even a supportive one) such as CBF. The biggest part of that is the risk to the YF's if they are identified by someone and the effect on their current lives, since they have put this past far behind them and moved on. I'm still integrating it into my life! What I mean by that is that I'm trying to use the gleanings from back then to help set direction when I try and make some changes in the world! :-) Just smiling at the thought of a discussion of that with a YF several years ago, who apparently thought I was very unrealistic in my thinking and general life direction. But how did YF#4 actually feel about the fondling? I gather he told his dad just to get his sympathy, so he'd let him stay at his house. But was YF#4 upset by it himself? I want to comment on what happened several months later when I tried to talk with him about that, but for now he said then that it might have been OK if I had asked first. I guess if he had his 21st at your place and did all that cooking for you, he can't have been that concerned by it. Was his dad such a bastard that he wouldn't take the boy in without hearing a story like that? I still am not sure what all was happening with him through that period, though I know a lot of what he did. I'm not sure of the perspective he has after almost 20 years. I would like to talk with him about himself, but don't expect that to happen. I know of another person, a "friend," who is in his 30's and struggling with orientation issues, and mixing in a lot of alcohol and other destructive behaviors, and is still at a point of not being able to talk about feelings after 14 years of friendship! And only one mention of lb#3 and YF#5 ! Actually 3 of YF#5 -- Jan 18 (1st picture - at his residence), May 17 (at a national park), and May 20 (at my graduation dinner). I only had one picture of lb#3. He was in the story the next 5 months after where I left off, and YF#5, 2 years later. Sorry for my confusing methods! I'll get back to you with more! Sometime! Ray |